I’m way behind in my memes and determined to catch up before the end of the year. Leslie asked me these questions months ago and I still can’t come up with good answers.

1. Knowing what you do now, would you have done anything differently in your life?

You mean, besides investing everything in Microsoft back in 1983? Well, there are countless things I would do differently the second time around; however I like my life now and wouldn’t want things to turn out much differently (except for the aforementioned stock). There are lots of little injustices I have done to others and things I’ve said that I wish I could take back though.

2. What traits of your wife do you admire most?

She is incredibly generous and giving. Totally unlike me. I am a miserly old skinflint myself.

3. Who influenced you most positively in your life and how?

Well, obviously my parents influenced me the most, and I’ll give them credit for trying to make it positive, even if it mostly didn’t “take.”

4. Describe a perfect day in your world.

Well, it might start with waking up to the news that George and Dick had decided to give up their government jobs and join a hippie commune in Vermont. Fantasies aside, the perfect way for me to spend the day is exploring the woods, with no radio or TV and never getting in a car. Maybe sitting around a fire in the evening, looking at the stars.

5. Which historical figure would you like the chance to ask a question of and what would you ask?

Gosh, this is really a tough question, Leslie. I suppose I should ask one of the great religious figures about the meaning of life, but I doubt I would understand their answer anyway. If I weren’t a married man I would pick the greatest beauty of all time (would that be Cleopatra?) and my question would be “do you, do you, do you want to dance, and make romance ..?”

Hey, I am just not a deep sort of guy okay?