mom

My mother passed away yesterday morning. We had just visited with her on Saturday. The doctor had given her some antibiotics for some flu symptoms and she had very little appetite. Except for that the visit seemed like many others.

When we arrived she was in bed. She talked about the quilt she was covered with. It was one Tricia made using some blocks she found in Mom’s sewing basket and some photos Tricia had printed onto cloth. She often talked about the quilt on our visits. She especially liked the picture of her sister. She did not ever seem to remember who made the quilt or where it came from. She knew she had not made it herself though, even though it had her name embroidered on it. She always looked doubtful when Tricia explained where it came from.

We went outside in the sunlight and she wheeled herself around in her wheelchair a little. There were some pansies outside in a bed and she looked at them and asked me for some scissors. She said she wanted to cut them out and make a handkerchief to keep in her pocket. Sometimes it seemed to me as if she saw things as if they were printed on cloth and she could just cut them out and take the scene with her. Her main interest for many years was sewing and quilting so maybe it was natural to her for the world to be made of cloth.

Her mind was taken quickly by Alzheimers. Just seven months ago I did not even realize it was a problem. In July she fell and broke her hip while taking clothes out of the dryer. In the hospital I thought it was just the drugs that were making her forgetful. We visited every weekend. By the end of the year I was not really sure that she even knew who I was.

Comments (23)

  1. Shelley wrote::

    Bill, I am so sorry at you and your family’s loss. You have suffered much in this last year.

    My hope is that your mother’s going was peaceful, under a quilt made by loving family members. Surely that would persist in the end.

    Take care

    Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 10:23 am #
  2. cybertoad wrote::

    I am so so sorry for your loss but also know that your mother seemed to be very loved by you. May she rest in peace.

    Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 11:18 am #
  3. mary lou wrote::

    Be thankful that it went fast Bill, A close friend had her Mom at home with her for 4 years, and by the end, she was just a breathing body, could do NOTHING!! Not even swallow.

    I Am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts.

    Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 12:32 pm #
  4. Lorianne wrote::

    Oh, Bill…I’m so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing! Thank you for taking the time to tell us all: you & your family will be in our hearts & prayers.

    Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 12:42 pm #
  5. vegasbaby wrote::

    I am so very sorry to hear this Bill. This is only my second visit here, but I wanted to stop by and leave my condolences. Also, my grandmother died of Alzheimers in 1995, and she was like Mary Lou’s friend’s mom by the end. I know how painful it is when someone you love doesn’t know who you are, but she is an angel now, watching over you with much love.

    Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 1:05 pm #
  6. lyn wrote::

    So sorry for your loss.
    -ld

    Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 1:25 pm #
  7. Kathy wrote::

    Sorry to hear of the loss of both your parents. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Kathy

    Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 2:35 pm #
  8. Bill, I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 3:03 pm #
  9. Larry Davis wrote::

    As I was finishing your entry, I glimpsed the lovely flowering quince. I have one in my back yard; it had a single flower at the end of December. It is now ready to burst into pink. There is always a quince on the next page.

    thelrd in TEXAS

    Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 7:04 pm #
  10. Marthachick wrote::

    Oh, Bill, I’m so sorry for your loss. I think the “cutting pansies out and making a handkerchief” story is so lovely and touching — thank you for sharing. Perhaps she was taking a little piece of the world she loved and folding it into her pocket for her journey, wrapped in that beautiful quilt and all your love.

    Thursday, January 13, 2005 at 9:03 am #
  11. basha wrote::

    Bill–This was very sad to read. Please know that you are in my thoughts and in my heart as you go through the stages of this loss.

    Thursday, January 13, 2005 at 3:14 pm #
  12. jenn wrote::

    Oh Bill. *squeezes your hand*
    You’ve had such a tough year!

    My sympathy and my thoughts are with you.
    And the quince is lovely.

    Thursday, January 13, 2005 at 3:38 pm #
  13. Leslie wrote::

    I send my deepest sympathy, too, Bill. To hear that your dear Mom spent the last part of her life wrapped in a quilt lovingly made with images that were near and dear to her heart speaks of the love you and Tricia had for her.

    You really have had a rough time of it lately, an awful lot to bear at once. I’m so sorry you’ve had so much sadness.

    Thursday, January 13, 2005 at 8:32 pm #
  14. Lalae & Mark wrote::

    oh bill!
    you must be having that feeling now (more than ever)
    like it’s up to you to hold the sky up.
    you certainly had some fine role models.

    Friday, January 14, 2005 at 12:35 pm #
  15. Don wrote::

    Bill — I am sorry to hear about your mom. May light perpetual shine upon her. You and your family are in my prayers.

    Friday, January 14, 2005 at 10:12 pm #
  16. mary lou wrote::

    Just checking back in to see how you are doing… Tricia, keep us posted OK? We may not have ever met, but I care!

    Saturday, January 15, 2005 at 1:32 pm #
  17. Ki wrote::

    Bill, my condolences to you and your family. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 4 years also and we’re seeing a steady and inexorable decline. Doesn’t recognize us anymore…such a terrible disease. Please take care of yourself.

    Saturday, January 15, 2005 at 10:24 pm #
  18. Anasalwa wrote::

    Bill,
    Please accept my deepest condolence for you and your family. I lost my mother too two months ago. Our mohters are physically no longer with us, but their love is eternity. We carry their love and memory wherever we go.

    Sunday, January 16, 2005 at 10:39 am #
  19. wanda wrote::

    I’m so sorry to read of your loss.
    I hope her passing is a bit easier on you knowing that in her final hours she was surrounded by the things and people she loved and those who loved her.
    You have me sincere and heartfelt sympathy.

    Sunday, January 16, 2005 at 6:24 pm #
  20. Dottie wrote::

    Bill- am so sorry to hear about your mother…….My sympathies to you and your family………Every time I hear about families with parents afflicted with Alzheimer’s, I think about my grandmother. She died in 1958 when I was 14 years old. The symptoms she exhibited for many months before she died are the same symptoms that Alzheimer patients exhibit today…….Back in those days they called it “hardening of the arteries in the brain” - the word Alzheimer’s was not yet coined- and these people were placed in an asylum - that is where my grandmother died and it saddens me to this day that she died alone…….I am happy that you had your mother close as my grandmother died all alone…….My tears fall as I write this because as a 14 year old this was all beyond my comprehension. I see that my sister Basha has sent condolences also - I know that you and Basha are blog friends…….My love to you and your family……

    Sunday, January 16, 2005 at 9:43 pm #
  21. Leslie wrote::

    Thinking about you on this Monday morning.

    Monday, January 17, 2005 at 9:50 am #
  22. maria wrote::

    Oh Bill, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I would have offered my thoughts earlier, but it’s only now that I am catching up with news.

    You have painted such a lovey, and lively, portrait of your mother here in you post.

    Please accept my deepest condoleances on your loss.

    Thursday, January 20, 2005 at 3:08 pm #
  23. Julie wrote::

    Dear Bill,

    Thanks for linking up and thereby steering me to your beautiful site.

    Your mother cutting her final pansies is a beautiful, tender memory at a hard time. Thank you for imparting it, for all of us to keep in our pockets.

    Julie

    Saturday, January 22, 2005 at 7:26 pm #